We Should Learn From Our Children...Say No. - Katie Kirsopp

No isn’t a word that we are accustomed to. We tend to think that it is a negative response and that we are being difficult.

Why is it that children can say no without a second thought?…It’s because children know what they want and they don’t calculate what actions will come from their response. They are so focused on their own goals that they are more than happy to decline their parents requests. They don’t do it to cause friction…well sometimes they may see your response and choose to push your buttons. However, most of the time their response is just their honest answer.

So what happened?

We grew up. Societal values, experience, authority and more continues to mold how we act in our day to day lives. Our aim is to not cause conflict even if it means putting someone else first, even if it means that we are stretching ourselves beyond what we are capable of. 

This can affect our personal lives, our careers and our mental health. 

I’m going to go against the grain and tell you why it is important to say no. It’s because it is important to have boundaries. These boundaries help you live the life that you want.

Boundaries may sound constricting but in reality they are freeing.

Freeing you up from committing to extended family and friends events. Whether that be because you don’t think it will be a fun time or you have a lot on your plate. Whether that be because you need some time to yourself or have been so hectic at work that you want to spend your time with your family. Remember this: When someone asks you if you are free to do something and if it isn’t an automatic “Heck Yes!”….then it is a definite “No.” If they pose that it is in a month’s time or a year’s time, ask yourself if it were tomorrow would you want to do it? Your answer and your response lies there.

We Should Learn From Our Children…Say No.

We’ve all been inundated with work before. It is important to create boundaries so that we can actually enjoy what we are working towards; whether that be more family time, travelling, having more “me time” and working to live rather than living to work. 

Ways to create boundaries:

  • Sticking to “office hours”. This is super difficult when you work from home but you need to instill this into yourself and make it known to your clients so that you aren’t always accessible at a moment’s notice. Set the standards.
  • Not responding to an email straight away when you are focused on deep work. Going back and forth between focus’ is inefficient and  lessens your productivity level.
  • Turning off social media notifications. When you’re at work and you need to focus, the “ding” from your phone can instantly take you out of your work. Turn them off and check them on your break or after hours.
  • When someone asks you to complete a task, determine what level of priority it is. By doing this you can work through things methodically. Everyone will say that their task is a priority but you need to determine where it goes on your list.
  • When someone asks if you have the ability to do a certain task and you actually have no idea how to achieve that task…say no. You’re not superwoman. You have your strengths so stick to them. They’ve asked you and they know that the response is a 50/50 chance. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress than if you agreed and could not rise to the occasion. Not only disappointing that person, but losing trust also. It takes guts to stick to your guns.
  • HAVE A BREAK…I don’t know who needs to hear this…but take a break. Even if you’re your own boss. You need a break. Breaks have been proven to help with your work productivity. Work aside, they help with keeping your mentality healthy too!

You don’t have to say yes. You do have a choice. If something doesn’t sit right with you, channel your inner child and say no.

Need someone to help you stick with your boundaries…say no to working in your business instead of on? Book in a FREE Discovery call TODAY!