We scroll through Instagram and Facebook, LinkedIn and yes, even Tik Tok…the black hole of all apps. We can’t help but compare ourselves. When we start seeing that recognition for our success an icky feeling starts to settle in….and that my friend is called Imposter Syndrome.
“I’m not good enough!”
“They will see right through me!”
“People are going to realise I’m not as qualified as A,B,C etc.”
And the negative self talk goes on, and on, and on!
Imposter Syndrome is when we feel that we don’t belong. We’ve niched down, we’ve met our goals and still we feel like someone is going to call out “FRAUD!”
CLEARLY we can all see how this can be jarring and self limiting. Find the root cause, then you can start creating a solution to help navigate through this psychological pattern.
Who can relate to the following?
- a history of self doubt
- the need to be a perfectionist
- fears of success
- fears of failure
- self sabotaging
- constant fear of exposure, isolation and rejection
I have a feeling that the last one is going to strike a chord with a lot of people. At the end of the day we want to be accepted.
When we have these feelings we do one of two things; take on that “hustle” mentality to make us feel like we deserve the recognition and success. The other repercussion is that we make ourselves smaller than what we are. You start to put a cap on your goals, your ambition becomes obsolete and this in turn limits your potential.
So how do we overcome this?
Look the Problem In The Eye
Acknowledgement is a powerful tool to any recovery. Keep a journal and whenever you feel a certain way outlined in the above- write it down and keep a record of when, why and how it occurred. Then directly under this write a positive affirmation that will dispute that thought.
Keep Your Support Group Close
It’s good to talk it out with ones you trust. The reason being you can help each other out because I bet they can relate to you more than you think. As they are an outsider they can provide objective feedback. They can help you break it down.
Look At Your Fear Through A Magnifying Glass
How about trying to be an outsider? Instead of asking yourself “Why did I do that?”, talk to yourself in the third person. For instance: “Why did they do that?” Work through your response in this way as if you were helping your friend. We all know we have the right information at our fingertips when it comes to supporting others.
Feel The Fear And Move Through It Anyway
This is a huge point in Marie Forleo’s “Everything is Figureoutable”. Fear is a natural instinct that has been around since caveman days to protect us from getting eaten by a lion. Instead, we would think about these things in a calculated way. We create a plan that is practical and safe.
This should be the same with fear in our everyday lives. We may not be fighting Saber Tooth Tigers but we are fighting our own demons. The way to shut the inner critic up is to show up. Feel the fear and move through it anyway. Like Dory says! “Just keep swimming” and you will get to where you want to go.
Be Real With Yourself
What are you good at? What do you absolutely stink at?
I know that I’m great at building systems that help entrepreneurs conduct themselves efficiently and reach their goals, but baking is not my strong suit. This is something I would outsource.
Minimize the skills you don’t necessarily need to do yourself. Focus on what you’re good at and excelling in these will build your confidence.
If you make a mistake so be it. That is how we learn! Failure is not a trait, it is an event. Instead, look at these flunks as something to use within your story- everybody has failed at something and your audience can relate. It makes us human.
Know What You Got And Flaunt It!
You believe that whatever success has come your way is undeserved. I’m here to put a stop to that. External factors may have helped you out but you were the force to put it all into action. These are your successes so don’t be afraid to shout it out to the world!
Celebrate even the smallest of wins. When we do this we acknowledge that it was in fact our skills and our talents that created this outcome. A great way is to create a record of the compliments and testimonials that you have received. Looking over this can help you accept them in the future.